This might explain a lot about your obsession with causeways. Repressed childhood trauma, parents telling exaggerated stories that border on lies, etc. (Did they tell you Santa Claus doesn't exist as well?) Nasty stuff.
A home base on Lihou would make for an excellent TME HQ.
Harpo, your mission (should you decide to accept it) is to secure this valuable location for the future of the TME clan.
1) Pack an overnight bag,
2) get the DLR to London City Airport,
3) jump on the Flybe flight to Jersey, then across to Guernsey
4) call into that private bank on the High Street that's holding the TME Pension Fund (Overseas Investments) Ltd and get some cash out in a brown envelope.
5) get it round the corner to The Lihou Charitable Trust (La Cachette, Rue Des Mares)
If we must, we can rent a helicopter from Helicopter Hire Guernsey
, to get you across the causeway without getting your shoes or pants wet. Then they can drop you off, straight into the Venus Pool. Just like HM Queen parachuting into the opening of the London Olympics.
Meanwhile M'Lady Boreades will have a word with the Guernsey Boatowners’ Association, and their current plans
to extend St.Peterport harbour with a new breakwater. It might inconvenience her Duty Free shopping trips on SS Boreades. We'll see if we can get a few spare parts diverted to convert the Lihou causeway to a proper bridge.
The rest is up to you.