Every forum needs a Humour Section...

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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 12:48 pm

Are English Heritage up to their usual tricks?

It seems like their plans for putting Stonehenge back into "splendid isolation" are not well-received.

http://heritageaction.wordpress.com/201 ... tonehenge/

"splendid isolation" would be EH-speak for something, I wonder what.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 8:21 pm

I'd like to be the first to report the following:

Inspired by all the talk of Morris Dancing in the Jack and the Beanstalk thread, the whole ME Team rose to the occasion, at an ungodly hour of the early morning, on this special May Day. It's a special May Day, because it is the very first in the new Long Cycle Calender. So it seemed only right that we should perform a Megalithic Morris Dance on top of Silbury Hill at 4 a.m. as the sun rose, and before the English Heritage Spoil Sports were out of bed.

Having thrashed a few Orthodox Myths, we retired to the Red Lion in Avebury for a hearty Full-Pagan Breakfast. We then met up with the Beltane Border Dancers and descended on Wadworth's in Devizes, to organise a micturition session in an alcoholic-beverage preparation facility.

A great time was had by all, before we rolled up the A303 to Stonehenge to get Jon's mirrors setup while English Heritage was still distracted by the redecoration we'd done at Avebury.

As I said, I'd like to report that, but this is the Humour Corner.
It's a joke!
Pinch-punch, first of the month, and no returns.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby spiral » 6:15 am

Boreades wrote:Pinch-punch, first of the month, and no returns.


Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 12:58 pm

The First World War as a pub fight.

Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria's pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria's trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 7:50 pm

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Tony Robinson of Time Team was in Avebury filming for a new series of Channel Four’s Walking Through History.

http://www.visitavebury.com/index.php/w ... ew-collins

See the mangled history and appeals to dubious authority.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby hvered » 10:07 am

Is there a film of him filming? It doesn't appear on the link.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 4:36 pm

hvered wrote:Is there a film of him filming? It doesn't appear on the link.


It might be this - it has an episode for Stonehenge.

Tony heads off for a 45-mile walk across Wiltshire to tell the story of life and death in the last centuries of the Stone Age. His route over chalk downlands and Salisbury plain takes him through the greatest concentration of prehistoric sites in Europe. From Avebury to Stonehenge and from spirituality to engineering, this is a journey through our ancestors' remarkable development in the latter days of the Neolithic Age. Windmill Hill near Avebury is the start of his route; with earthworks dating to 4500BC, it's one of the most ancient sites in Wiltshire. From here, Tony moves on through 2000 years of the 'New Stone Age', encountering increasingly complex burial sites and processional routes that have helped make this area both captivating and intriguing. As he heads south Tony can't escape the eccentric characters and weird phenomena that have accompanied Wiltshire's ancient history. Mysterious crop circles and unexplained underground energy sources enliven his visit, but his mind is firmly fixed on the extraordinary array of monuments in his path. That means listening to the fanciful notions of 18th-century antiquarians, which have a grain of truth at their heart, and grasping the cutting edge of scientific archaeology around Stonehenge, which is finally offering up some astounding answers.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/walk ... sode-guide

FIRST BROADCAST: 8pm Sat 23 November 2013 C4
DURATION: 47:02

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/walk ... od#3649632
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 9:18 pm

It might be a bit quiet here tonight. Hattie & Co are probably down their local boozer with a pie & a pint watching Brazil -v- Croatia as the first match in the World Cup. With Ingerland ready to get roasted somewhere oop north in the heat of the Brazilian high summer.

As Scotland failed to qualify, cruelly robbed by a lack of talent, I was tempted to go off in a huff. But I couldn't find a huff, so maybe it'll have to be a Hanson Cab instead.

Which got me thinking, what was your actual megalithic man on the leyline doing for sporting past-times, c. 5K years ago?

Betting on the solstice weather?
Seeing who could run round the Stonehenge Cursus the fastest?
Winning the Yard of Mead drinking competition?

Nominations please.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby hvered » 8:33 am

My family don't allow me to watch games in public. They're right of course, the expletives when Neymar went down in the penalty area (already on a yellow card) are best kept out of hearing. Even, perhaps especially, the best sportsmen resort to lowdown cunning to get results, maybe it's in our (hunting) genes.

Our current investigations into the Wansdyke and other presumed man-made earthworks on the applied epistemology site are based on the rationale that everyone cheats, avoids taxes and breaks the rules if they can get away with it.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby macausland » 8:42 am

Tossing the Sarsen?
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