Every forum needs a Humour Section...

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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Mick Harper » 7:32 am

Since going on a course with Momentum it has been decided to merge the TME Pension Fund and the TME Police (as Borry so amusingly calls our Fact Checking Dept) under the supervision of Brother Hatty, until the situation can be formally authorised at the next AGM. AGM arrangements themselves will continue to be part of my own responsibilities.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 9:33 am

Shocking news, archaeologists have admitted to a, err, huge historical cock-up.

Cerne Abbas Giant: Snails show chalk hill figure 'not prehistoric'. Snails have shown an ancient naked figure sculpted into a chalk hillside is unlikely to be prehistoric as hoped, archaeologists have said. Tests of soil samples extracted from Dorset's Cerne Abbas Giant to determine its exact age have been delayed by the coronavirus epidemic. They are not due until later in the year. However, land snail shells found in the samples suggest it may date to medieval times, separate tests have found.


Snails? What snails?

Martin Papworth, senior archaeologist at the National Trust, and environmental archaeologist Mike Allen said two species of snail that appeared for the first time in Britain in the Roman period - thought to have been brought over from France as food - were not found at the site. However, microscopic species, found for the first time in the medieval period during the 13th and 14th Centuries, have been discovered in the samples. The National Trust project, in which soil was taken from the giant's elbows and feet, was carried out to celebrate its 100-year ownership of the site.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-53313064

I'm wondering if this revisionism means Britain didn't have snails until the Romans arrived?

But good for the Cerne Abbas Giant, the archaeologists only tickled his elbows and feet. Academic modesty may have deterred them from touching his penis.

Image

The figure has been unofficially altered several times before, most recently during the coronavirus pandemic when it was given a mask
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby hvered » 9:53 am

Why would it make any difference how ancient or modern the snail samples, or the chalk samples for that matter, are? A carving or petroglyph isn't automatically prehistoric because the object being sculpted is as old as the hills.

Records of the Cerne Abbas Giant only begin at the end of the seventeenth century. That provenance may be seen as rather too late though such an unusual chalk figure would surely have invited comment

the earliest surviving documents regarding the Cerne Giant dates only as far back as 1694, but some residents of the village, who remember local stories tell of a giant that was killed on the hill. They claim that the figure had been there "beyond the antiquity of man"
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 3:08 pm

Did anyone else notice the BBC has launched a new Comedy Archaelogy programme? "Digging For Britain". The part that had me laughing most this week was the dig of a Neolithic tomb on Orkney. Not yer usual Scara Brae, but a less-well known one at Tree Ness on Sanday's south coast.

https://osmaps.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/59. ... 2.52021,15

Commentator: They're excavating a chamber that's being eroded by the sea
Expert Archeo: It's a tomb

Commentator: They've not found any human remains or burial goods
Expert Archeo: It's a tomb

Commentator: They've found hundreds of scale knive tools (sharpened flints)
Expert Archeo: It's a tomb

Commentator: They've found a hearth inside the entrance with evidence of lots of ash and pottery
Expert Archeo: It's a tomb

Commentator: Vicky has found some curious artefacts, polished round balls
Expert Archeo: They're weapons

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m ... -episode-3

Regular readers may recall we've been through this "load of balls" before.

These are up to 5,000 years old, found mostly in the north-east of Scotland, the Orkneys, and a few on the Western Isles (on Iona, Skye, Harris, Uist, Lewis, Arran, etc). Most are about 70mm in diameter, about the size of a tennis ball. As for their purpose, various suggestions have been made e.g. weapons, weights, working of hides, etc. To my mind, these are all nonsense, as the stone spheres are all far too intricately made, with a detail of craftmanship far beyond what would be needed for "ordinary" items like weapons, weights, and leather-working tools. But consider this - within recorded history, it has been part of the tradition of apprenticeships and technical colleges for hundreds of years that all students should produce models that demonstrated their abilities and skills. What better way of letting apprentice stoneworkers prove the quality of their skills?
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Mick Harper » 6:07 am

This is significant enough to get an airing on the AEL. I will if you don't. Happy New Year!
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 1:56 pm

Do Yorkshire crows have a sense of humour? Or are they the mischievous Loki of the bird world?

At Knaresborough Castle.

The 34-second clip opens with the bird hopping onto a wall. A call of “You alright love” can then be heard. The phrase is repeated by a member of the public before it is heard a further two times. The next phrase uttered appears to be “I’m alright”, which is heard twice.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jBcpvaV_gY

A foul-mouthed raven terrorising guests at a historic castle could get the boot – unless it stops swearing at guests and smashing phones with its beak. The bird named Izzie is in hot water after targeting tourists and trying to take ‘selfies’ by pecking at mobiles. Visitors have also apparently been sworn at by the bird – with the raven learning to say: ‘What you f****** looking at?’ to mortified day-trippers. Birdkeeper Igraine Skelton says the cheeky eight-year-old creature could end up tethered to a wall at medieval Knaresborough Castle in North Yorkshire if it does not improve its behaviour.


https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/ ... -tourists/
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 1:10 pm

Doctor Who has entered the Neolithic Universe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsAVx0u9Cw4&t=23s

From the same people that brought you The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu, Tammy Wynette, Justified & Ancient (Stand by the JAMs). Doctorin' the Tardis. Fimed at various locations in Deepest East Wiltshire like Avebury, the Cherhill White Horse and the Lansdowne Monument, and the deserted RAF base at Yatesbury. This time driving a Ford Galaxie American "police car" instead of Tammy Wynette's Ice Cream Van.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Mick Harper » 8:52 am

I am catching up on back series of Justified daily. Raylan Givens models himself on me.
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Boreades » 9:16 am

Mick Harper wrote:I am catching up on back series of Justified daily. Raylan Givens models himself on me.

Is it the anger management issue?
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Re: Every forum needs a Humour Section...

Postby Mick Harper » 2:16 pm

What I like is that if three people are having a conversation in Harlan County, two on one, it is a fair bet that one of the two will turn through ninety degrees and shoot the person next to them in the head. Thus making it à deux. I'm not saying we should all adopt it but it is egalitarianism in action. While we just talk.
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